Fox news listed its top 10 awful Valentine's Day gifts and suggested you never, under any circumstances, give them to your girlfriends on Valentine's Day:

NO.1 Glow-in-the-Dark Lingerie

The enlightened bras seem to be along the lines of "Your Body Is a Disneyland."

NO.2 Remote-Controlled Wind-Breaking Teddy Bear

A battery-powered flatulent plush toy repeating "I love you" loudly can not make ladies swoon.

NO.3 Stripper Pole

Take away the sex appeal of mini-strip equipment and you may as well have bought her a StairMaster and told her to lose a few pounds.

NO.4 Ridiculous Footwear

It's not that cold out that she needs to wrap her legs in enough insulation to survive a nuclear winter. And it is out of date!

NO.5 Naming a Star After Her

Your gift is a very fancy piece of paper, a very fancy piece of paper with no redeemable cash value.

NO.6 A Knockoff Handbag

Don't push your luck by trying to slip her one of those fancy she-will-never-know-the-difference replicas, either.

NO.7 Taser C2

Do you really want someone packing 20,000 volts in her purse the day she finds all those racy text messages from her college roommate on your mobile phone?

NO.8 A Four-Course Meal at White Castle

If you do so, you're still an unoriginal doofus.

NO.9 Chocolate Gone Wrong

Nothing says "I forgot" like a box of drugstore chocolates.

NO.10 A Wedding Ring

The day you forget Valentine's Day and your anniversary - and you will - is the day you will forever be transformed from Don Juan DeMarco to Don Juan DeHomeless.